Before I get into this story, I’d like to put out a disclaimer that this story includes medical trauma and motor vehicle collision. If this is distressing for you in any capacity – perhaps skip this blog post, or come back to it when you are ready. Your mental health always comes first.
By now, you may have heard about the fight or flight system. This is also called the sympathetic nervous system. I’ll abbreviate it as the SNS for short. The SNS is our stress and cortisol response system. This is in direct opposition to our parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) which facilitates rest and digestion.
I wanted to share a story about how I was surprised my SNS responded appropriately. As I find in the media we often demonize the SNS and the cortisol response.
As some may be aware in January of this year, my husband was involved in a motor vehicle accident. He was struck by a car going at least 40 km/hour as a pedestrian at a crosswalk. Our dogs were also involved in the accident. Thankfully, my husband only suffered a broken leg and a concussion. He easily could be paralyzed, or not with us at all. Our puppies were taken into the vet and came out unscathed.
Understandably, this spiked my SNS. For the first 48 hours, I was in pure stress mode trying to get through the immediate danger and get my husband to the hospital and support him through his emergency surgery. During this time, my SNS was outcompeting my PNS, so sleep and rest were at a minimum. Here, although is felt terrible – my SNS was helping me through a difficult time. That adrenaline that was released helped prime my muscles in case I needed to run to help. The cortisol spiked and helped me focus on the dangers in the environment and to make decisions that were important for the health of my family.
Once he was discharged several days later, I naturally felt my SNS decline. It was so interesting to see my acute stress response in action. What I did not anticipate was the sense of calm I felt a couple of weeks later. Now, our lives were still stressful – I was helping my husband with basic hygiene tasks, running a business, as well as doing all the household tasks. In addition, we missed my mom’s wedding, and our dog went into heat and our male dog needed surgery. It was a lot! However, my SNS did calm down. While I was waiting for that to happen, I made every effort to try to reduce my additional stress. I asked friends for help, I prioritized eating well and on a good schedule. I continued with workouts as my body would allow. Thankfully, I was able to sleep, and eat, and move through my day with a renewed sense of calm. It was amazing and unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. In the face of tragedy, I was able to show up, be resilient, and ultimately come out the other side.
How to support your SNS during stress:
1. Call a friend – my friends truly are my family and helped us immensely through this time. From being at the hospital, to check ins, getting medical supplies, shovelling our driveway. We love you. Thank you
2. Move your body – physical activity can help reset the stress cycle and stress response. As a bonus: It increases our endorphins and makes us feel good.
3. Focus on whole nutritious foods. We definitely ordered food for 10:30 PM upon finding out that my husband wouldn’t be receiving surgery and got the okay to eat prior to his fasting that would start at 12 AM for the next day while on the wait list for surgery. However, I made every effort to go home, shower, and pack myself a healthy lunch with fibre and protein – which made me feel much better than take out may have.
Now, being 7 weeks out from the accident and being back to work: I do find that my SNS has the tendency to overreact. This is more of a chronic stress stage that many people can relate to, as true emergencies don’t happen every day. In our daily lives , we can often be exposed to chronic stress. This happens when the SNS is activated in the presence of a stressor, but then doesn’t have the chance to come down and a level of chronic stress is maintained. This could be because of a new stressor comes up, or because of the nature of our modern lives which don’t necessarily allow for that relaxation time that we need in order to build resilience to stressors.
How do I manage this? First, I need to ensure I take a second when things happen. The saying goes – making mountains out of mole hills – and I believe this is true of our SNS. My SNS doesn’t necessarily know the difference between a stressful email and a major event. Taking a moment prior to reacting has been something I endeavour to do to help self regulate (but I certainly make mistakes and overreact, we are all a work in progress). I still try to do the number items above: social connection, physical activity, and eating well. As well, I’ve been trying to do more yoga and meditation, and rest to help myself feel safer in my environment and new reality.
One of my favourite books on the topic of regulating stress and competing the stress cycle is “Burnout : The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by authors Amelia and Emily Nagoski. This book has good tips about regulating that stress cycle, helping your body feel calm, and not continuing the chronic stress. If chronic stress is not well managed it leads to “ burn out”. Burnout, of cortisol dysregulation is when you are unable to function due to chronic stress, or do not function well. You can feel a spectrum of emotions such as overstimulation, agitation, or decision paralysis, fatigue, or withdrawal. Further, you are actually more at risk for developing infections, weight fluctuations, and auto-immunity from long term stress. As such, its very important to regulate our SNS and PNS to make sure we can navigate life’s challenges.
In short, our cortisol is often demonized, but it is in fact quite important to our survival as humans. However, where we need to be mindful of chronic stress. Stress itself isn’t bad, but how we deal with it is what governs a healthy life. The appropriate response to stress builds resilience, which guide us through roadblocks and challenges – which is pretty special!
PS: We always appreciate your support. We’ve been asked if there is any way for others to help us. Currently, we’ve created a fairly good routine. Our biggest barriers were getting everything done and having the household running as usual. We’ve initiated a cleaning service, and dog walking which have helped immensely. If you’d like to help, we still do need help with those household tasks. If you’d like to support myself or my husband in a big or small way send us a message at info@radiancehealthyqr.ca.
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